The Tripod

On the regrettably rare occasions that I find myself with sufficient time and energy to inform myself of what is happening outside of my own little bubble, I typically pick up a newspaper. I'll read The New York Times for world news most of the time, occasionally switching The Hartford Courant for issues of regional interest. To the curious and pressed for time such as myself, the aforementioned professional news media outlets offer two distinct advantages: they are convenient, and they typically know what the hell they're talking about.

I am willing to bet that the majority of my peers subscribe to a similar logic. For example, when a professor assigns you a research paper, where do you turn? Do you immediately log on to www.nytimes.com, as I typically do, or do you ask your roommate? I'm guessing not many students pick the latter option, and thus I am often surprised when I hear people complain about the quality of the Tripod. The Tripod is a student-run newspaper. Even though I've seen firsthand the genuine dedication and intelligence of many of the staffers, the fact remains that they're still students. They aren't professionals. They have midterms and rehearsals and practices to contend with, just like the rest of us. Furthermore, the last time I checked, Trinity didn't even offer a Journalism major, so it stands to reason that the number of aspiring Woodwards and Bernsteins at da Trin are rather few and far between.

While I find it rather difficult to understand the mindset of people who apparently prefer to receive the bulk of their news from a bunch of 19-year-olds rather than a professional news media source, I find it even harder to understand how those people can demand utmost journalistic professionalism and perfection from the Tripod. Doesn't it make more sense to turn to professionals (as they have likely had a bit of training and experience in the field) rather than undergrad college students? It stands to reason that professionals tend to be better at their jobs than students, does it not?

Due to the fact that thinking about this any more makes me want to take a nailgun to my head, combined with the fact that editor-in-chief Sarah Harvey '11 has already written an extremely lucid and articulate editorial explaining the fact that the Tripod is indeed run by college students, I will not address this issue any further. But I think I might have come up with a solution, and that solution is dolla dolla bills, y'all. Just hear me out.

The Tripod is run by amateurs. I do not mean "amateur" in the pejorative sense of the word, but rather in the narrowest definition, that is, "a person who engages in a pursuit on an unpaid basis." Tripod staffers are unpaid, just as student-athletes or participants in any other extracurricular are unpaid. The people who run it do so essentially out of the goodness of their own hearts, and frankly sometimes I can't understand why they even bother. They are dedicated and genuinely care about what they are doing, and I admire them for it, but I am not like them. Listen, I'm a fantastic writer. Seriously. I wrote the screenplays for both Avatar and How Stella Got Her Groove Back. I've reduced grown men to tears with my words. The term "wunderkind" (as in "literary wunderkind") in German literally translates to my name. But as you may have noticed, neither this article nor any other article I've ever written for the Tripod seems to be that great, and thus many of the naysayers among you might have reason to dispute my genius. Well, naysayers, you're just going to have to trust me on this one. I really am that good. I just don't feel like bringing my A-game for free. My response to any and all criticisms about my writing in the Tripod is best articulated by Ray Liotta in the film Goodfellas, wherein his character answers a multitude of complaints with "F- you, pay me." Why the hell would I want to bring 110 percent to this bush-league, unpaid Tripod operation when I'm not going to be compensated for it? As unlikely as it may be, I think that offering monetary compensation might result in a better quality Tripod.

Everyone knows the maxim, "you get what you pay for." In this case, you (excluding those of you who are paying for a Tripod subscription) aren't paying anything. So the writing isn't always going to merit a Pulitzer Prize. There are probably going to be some typos. There are definitely going to be some articles you are going to find banal, and until someone steps up and offers me a salary commensurate with my abilities, they will continue to be published, if for no reason other than the fact that no one else is going to do it. For all of the moaning and complaining about the quality of the Tripod, no one ever decides to try to improve it. No one shows up at the office or starts submitting articles of their own, even though, for what its worth, I would really love to meet any college student who feels qualified to tell the staff just how a newspaper should be run. So in conclusion, I don't really feel like writing a lucid conclusion. Perhaps if someone were to pay me I could be persuaded to, but as of right now I just straight up don't feel like it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would really enjoy it if someone were to give me some money. Oh, and God bless America.

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