The Tripod

Prior to being accepted to Trinity, during that fateful period of time in which the majority of my pleasure reading was consumed by the Princeton Review Guide (seriously, it was pleasure reading), I remember hearing about a certain piece of information that I thought would be a nice bonus to attending Trinity College. Not only does Trinity offer a B.A. in various fields of study, but it also offers an M.R.S. to countless Trinity females. According to what I'd heard, many Trinity gradates return to the Chapel one last time post-graduation with their college sweetheart to tie the knot, marking the beginning of the long life they will lead together, with their WASP-y family whose children's names are picked out based on their monogram.

Knowing the caliber of the stereotypical Trinity male, I can't say I was disappointed. However, three years into my college career, I find myself wanting to know who the hell told me that. During some airport downtime last semester (yeah, I went abroad, I'm so unbelievably cool), my friends and I tried to name serious couples in our grade. I think we listed two. And to be honest, I don't think either of them is headed to the Chapel in the near future, sorry. In fact, in my experience at Trinity, the best way to describe how "serious couples" are viewed by the rest of our promiscuous campus community would be like lepers. I understand that might seem harsh, but if we get too close, their values of monogamous relationships, respect, and dare I say love, might actually rub off on the rest of us that went out in hopes of scoring some strange action. And God forbid that should happen.

But given that Trinity has changed so little in the past 30 years in regards to social norms and our beloved stereotypes, I don't want to completely disregard the M.R.S. At least I'd rather not ... I'm a Sociology major, clearly I'm not hoping to be out in the work force for too long if you know what I mean. So, assuming the most coveted degree still exists, I can only assume that 10 years from now I'm going to be sitting in a bar in New York, N.Y. when a certain well-dressed individual off in the distance wearing Ray Bans with Croakies will catch my eye, who after a little while I'll realize was a nameless DFMO of mine from college. I suppose we'll get to talking about how meaningful our drunken encounter wasn't and in what frat it occurred, and try to recall if we went home together. But we'll probably both be thinking of someone else. Regardless, I can only assume that after a short discussion of Nantucket vs. Martha's Vineyard we'll both suddenly abandon our non-committal values that were so strongly enforced upon us during college, start dating and end up married in two years with a Charles Walker MacDonald III, who we'll call Chip, on the way.

If that's the likely course of action, all I can say is everyone, keep up the good work and we'll all be happily married in no-time, headed to the Chapel not with our college sweetheart, but our college booty call. Still, part of me doubts that the passion that was had at AD's jungle party or the Hall's Hall-O-Ween will transfer on into our future lives; though that would be ideal (what can I say, I'm a costume enthusiast). So, I think it's time that the girls of Trinity College stop believing this "Chapel of Love" (by the Dixie Cups) inspired fallacy and accept the M.R.S as a degree of the past, back when chivalry was still "in," though Will Smith has fought hard to keep it stylish.

And ironically enough, when I went back through some of my old college books, I found a cute little blurb I apparently overlooked in "The Insider's Guide to the Colleges," compiled by the staff of The Yale Daily News, that really sums Trinity up well. Two quotes from certain Trinity upperclassmen stood out to me the most. The first, "There is not a thing called love at Trinity" (keep in mind "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by the Darkness came out that year) and the second, slightly more direct "… the sexual activity at Trinity is among the highest in the known universe." Based on my reading skills, it's no wonder I'm not currently writing for The Yale Daily News. I guess JUST a B.A. from Trinity College and passablesocial skills will have to suffice.

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