The Tripod

Easily Offended: You won't believe what I saw in Mather this morning!

Overly Sensitive: What was it?!

EO: This guy walks up to the milk, looks at it for a second, and then fills his glass with regular. I mean, is that a joke? The chocolate was sitting right there and he didn't even think about it. I thought we'd made some progress on this campus, but apparently racism is still alive and well.

OS: That's horrible! But … did you hear what you just said?

EO: Oh my god! I can't believe I just called white milk regular. Who am I to say what's "regular" and what's not? What does that idea even mean? Regular is just a word used to describe the value system imposed on Americans by the oppressive ruling class.

OS: Don't worry, ever since I decided to major in Sociology, I've started to see this stuff all over campus; and it's not just racial issues either. Two days ago this girl dropped her pen in class and some overdeveloped football player picked it up and gave it back to her. Like she couldn't get it herself?

EO: What an asshole! I'd love to hear Angelina Grimke give that misogynistic pig a piece of her mind. Do you know his name?

OS: I have no idea, but I'm sure he's in a frat. It must be, like, a requirement or something to act that way if you're in one. He probably makes generalizations about people all the time.

EO: That's so awful, but nothing, absolutely nothing, makes me angrier than the so-called humor page! You should see the trash that goes on it and the countless stereotypes it reinforces. Like a couple weeks ago, they wrote this thing about sunglass straps that made me want to cry. I even heard someone try to defend it by saying it was "satire." I told them they were probably confused and meant hegemony.

OS: It's amazing how few people know what they're talking about these days.

EO: Anyways, just because one of them has stunning blue eyes and is a captain of the rowing team and has a 3.9 GPA and happens to be a President's Fellow and went to the most prestigious prep school in the country doesn't mean he can just say whatever he wants!

OS: Exactly! Oh, by the way, I read an article about how a lot of schools are starting to ban dodgeball, which made me happy.

EO: Totally. A game like that only instills hierarchical principles in children and lowers their self-esteem.

OS: You said it! Well, I should really get back to reading for my thesis about how the rules of basketball and the Voting Rights Act of 1965 were designed to systematically exclude gays from receiving tenure at Ivy League schools.

EO: Sounds good. I'm working on an opinion piece for the Tripod about that milk incident. I think it also might turn into an attack on frats, but I'm not sure yet. I guess we'll see!

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