Life As a Sophomore: Growing Older
Carver Diserens
Issue date: 9/30/08 Section: Features
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11:15 a.m. Unfortunately, as I walk into class, I realize I'm 25 minutes late. Crap.
12:15 p.m. I strut over to the 'Stro (that's the Bistro, for all you freshmen). When it's my turn to order, I see that a new employee is making sandwiches. I allow the girl next to me to go ahead. Silly freshman, she's getting a bush-league sandwich. I wink at the other employee; she knows what's up. Time for my special wrap, I call it "The Bamboozler" … I'm sure they'll add it to the menu soon.
2 p.m. I'm sitting in back of class with my laptop "taking notes." I have overloaded my schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays, creating an intolerable amount of work on those days. But dude, four-day weekends! Woot!
3:30 p.m. I take it upon myself to share the wealth of knowledge I achieved in an entire year of college with the readers of TrinTalk.com; it'd be sin not to. Yes, frats are open tonight. No, not everyone here has a trust fund. Pat Rettis is definitely not "da hottest guy at Trin." Class dismissed.
5:30 p.m. Rush dinner at the fraternity I'm soon to join. I greet the 2.5 brothers that I know. One was my Teaching Assistant last year, one is from my hometown, and I played intramural basketball against another one; we're on first-name bases. "Yo, dude!" "Hey, buddy!" "What's up, champ?" they say. Notice they all have nicknames for me? Yeah, we're pretty tight.
5:45 p.m. These guys are so effing cool. They tell stories about making out with girls and drinking alcohol. I share a hilarious anecdote from last year, when I drank 29 beers before going out and then about 14 more at Late Night. The next morning I woke up on my floor … wait for it … with only one shoe on!
6 p.m. Before leaving, I invite a few of the brothers over to blaze later. (Blaze means smoking marijuana, for all you freshmen.)

Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
A Fan
posted 10/03/08 @ 2:08 PM EST
Dear Carver,
Please write more.
Love,
A Fan
John Escherich
posted 10/04/08 @ 9:33 AM EST
Dear Carver,
You make me smile.
Love,
John!
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