The Tripod

In light of the recent events that have plagued Trinity students, I believe it's time students bone up on their basic legal know-how. This guide cannot guarantee your legal safety if you've decided to get caught with a solo cup of jungle juice in your hand. What this guide will help with though, is how to make the best of the situation, and tips to avoid this whole debacle in the first place.

Understanding America's alcohol laws is no simple task. The 21st Amendment, which repealed prohibition, handed regulation of all intoxicating liquors over to the individual states. This complicates the whole matter, because we now have a hodge-podge of local laws. As every college student is well aware, the legal age to drink in any state is 21. Actually, that's not quite the whole picture. The government is lying to you, but then again, what's new? There are three components to underage drinking, a trinity (Ha-ha, get it?) you might say. These three components are: purchasing alcohol, possessing it, and consuming it. Surprisingly enough, all three are not illegal in every state. In 15 states the actual consumption of alcohol by a minor is not illegal.

Ok, so let's talk about a topic which probably landed some of you (you know who you are) in trouble: fake IDs. Today's ID cards are very complex and technologically advanced. Holograms and encoded magnetic strips are the norm. The days of photographing a giant cardboard template are gone. Now, I am not condoning the usage of fake IDs, but if you are, you'd do well to look over the following.

The bouncers at the local clubs aren't exactly Rhodes scholars. However, as laws tighten and penalties skyrocket, clubs are investing in more extensive and effective training about fake IDs. The first thing that tips off the bouncer is your attitude. Wandering eyes, rapid speech, fidgeting, exaggerated facial expressions, shaking, and sweating are all cues that alert bouncers. A close examination of the ID itself is the second line of defense. Bouncers look for lamination that's too thick, low-quality or incorrect holograms, a magnetic strip that's covered by lamination, and signs of alterations.

ID checking machines or ID guides are become more common, which can destroy any fake ID. Luckily, these machines are just as likely to reject good IDs, so clubs are reluctant to rely too much on these machines. Lastly, bouncers can administer a quick test to see if you're actually the person who's described on the ID. Be ready to recite your birth date, your address, spell your name, or anything else that appears there. You might also be asked for a second form of ID. Giving the right answers is only half the battle. The bouncer will also make note of response times.

Law enforcement officers, legislators, and administrators love to blame things on kegs. There's research out there stating kegs as the reason for any kind of drinking problem. Recent legislative trends have required a keg registration process, which makes the purchaser of the keg liable. However, there's an easy way around this. Let's see if Trinity students are smart enough to know what the true answer is:

1. Leave the registration sticker on the keg and expose yourself to all sorts of additional legal problems if the cops show up; or

2. Carefully remove the sticker or tag for later reattachment, and claim ignorance about who bought the keg when the cops show up.

If you chose option number two, congratulations, you're smarter than the lawmakers thought you would be.

With the recent housing crisis, students are being forced off-campus. In celebrating their newfound independence from the RA, many students will throw huge parties, which can result in a police appearance. Follow these rules to avoid the cops from ruining your late night fete:

1. Before the party even begins, visit the neighbors, especially if they are not fellow college students. Suggest that they contact you instead of the police if there are any problems. This way, the neighbors will talk to you before calling in the cops.

2. Performing a perimeter sound check would also be a good idea, so you know how loud you can blast the noise without offending the community.

3. Be careful about who you invite. Don't send out Facebook invitations to the entire campus, because the smaller a party is, the better chance you have of coming out legally unscathed. Also, throwing flyers around is a sure fire way of having unwanted late night visitors -- ones that won't go away with a slam of the door.

4. Post signs around the perimeter, two in fact. One that says "This is a private party. No one is permitted to enter unless they have been specifically invited." The second one should say "You must be 21 or over to drink." Whether or not your guests follow these rules is not terribly important; the signs are really mostly for the cops to see, should they visit upon your gala.

Also, make sure to contain the party. Nothing helps tip off the police more than a group of 50 kids in the front yard, pounding down beers. And please, make the effort to check IDs. Keep a façade up to keep up the appearance that you've been requiring photo ID for admission and imbibing.

If the police do show up though, there's still a chance for surviving this encounter. Never consent to a search, no matter how intimidating they look. The only two ways the police can enter your place without a warrant is if there is some sort of emergency or they are in pursuit of someone who's run into your house. If they keep insisting on coming in despite your request, state slowly and clearly in front of as many witnesses as possible, "I do not consent to you entering my house, and I do not consent to a search of any kind." Saying more than is absolutely necessary will also tip the cops off -- if it doesn't cause outright offense. Calling your police detective a "douchebag" may not be the best idea, but that's just my thought. They still might walk in, but you've made things easier for your lawyer, who can argue that the search was unconstitutional. These hints and tricks will not save you from the next raid at the Tap, but it will save your ass from further police intervention than you really have to.

Editor's Note: The Tripod does not condone any illegal activities that may have been alluded to in this article.

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